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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27768331">Lady Jane's Good Vibes Café</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracicah/pseuds/slash_shipper'>slash_shipper (gracicah)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Pro Wrestling (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, M/M, coffee shop AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:55:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,824</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27768331</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracicah/pseuds/slash_shipper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Oh my goodness, Upchuck, it's back! Get over here!” Lady Jane's shriek pierced the aromatic air of the Good Vibes Café, a quaint little coffee shop somewhere not too far from the Atlantic Ocean.</p><p>“What is it, Lady Jane?” Janitor Upchuck called, momentarily distracted from the vital task of mopping the already-sparkling floor.</p><p>“The frog, Upchuck!” she hissed. “The frog has returned!”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gritty/Bee Sting - WAT League</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Lady Jane's Good Vibes Café: a coffee shop AU featuring Static Gang and Molly Gang</b>
</p><p> </p><p>A/N: I do not own Fire Pro Wrestling, WAT League, or any of the characters or storylines portrayed therein, so please don't sue me! If you like this fic, please leave a review, but NO FLAMES! Also, Slash Shipper is NOT a Mary Sue and I will tolerate no assertions to the contrary.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Dramatis Personae</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>STATIC GANG:</b>
</p><p> </p><ul>
<li>
<p>STATIC: The big boss of the coffee shop. He is an elusive man given to grand displays when he does show up, and the staff have a theory that he may in fact have a superhero alter ego. Which superhero he is exactly, no one is sure, but we have at least ruled out Spiderman.</p>
<p> </p>
</li>
</ul><ul>
<li>
<p>SLASH SHIPPER: The somewhat intimidating shift supervisor who spends half the time yelling at the staff to “put some elbow grease into cleaning the machines, dammit!” and the other half trying to set people up with each other.</p>
<p> </p>
</li>
<li>
<p>DOCTOR SCRUBS: Always shows up in scrubs and lab coat with a stethoscope around his neck, takes an hour-long lunch break, and takes his coffee with no sugar but lots of almond milk. We're not sure what kind of doctor he is.</p>
<p> </p>
</li>
<li>
<p>LADY JANE: The employee who makes the BEST drinks in the whole damn shop, latte art included. She has a bit of a mysterious past... apparently she used to work at a high-end tea shop and her personality was, like, totally different? She doesn't talk about it much, but sometimes when she's talking to Upchuck she sounds all prim and proper, which she's like, totally not. Also, when it's her turn to pick the playlist, it is 100% British music.</p>
<p> </p>
</li>
<li>
<p>JANITOR UPCHUCK: The one employee at the coffee shop who, uh, actually works? Everyone else is busy chatting with each other or with the customers, getting up to hijinks and whatnot, and meanwhile there's Janitor Upchuck cleaning up all their messes.</p>
<p> </p>
</li>
<li>
<p>THE DEVSTER: A boisterous man whose picture is on the wall with the legend “Do Not Give This Man Caffeine.” There's a story there, but it's not this story.</p>
<p> </p>
</li>
<li>
<p>BLAST RAYGUN: A homeless guy who hangs out literally all day in the coffee shop and is such a genuinely pleasant person that all the employees and several of the regular customers have set up a Feed Blast Fund. He is a little crazy, though... thinks he's from the future or something. But he's a good guy anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
</li>
<li>
<p>BARRY BROWN: A large, hairy college professor whose area of expertise is Ursine History. Always wears a turtleneck and beret and seems to be silently judging everyone.</p>
</li>
</ul><p> </p><p>
  <b>MOLLY GANG:</b>
</p><p> </p><ul>
<li>
<p>MOLLY MANTIS: A bodybuilder who keeps threatening to open up a smoothie shop right next door to us and put us out of business. An ambitious goal, considering that the homemade smoothies she very rudely brings into the shop and drinks while making direct eye contact with the staff look like they're barely palatable.</p>
<p> </p>
</li>
</ul><ul>
<li>
<p>JUDAS POPE: A regrettably smokin' hot PILE OF TURDS who has NO RIGHT to waltz into the coffee shop looking all BUFF and RIPPED and PROBABLY COVERED IN OIL and demand the most complicated drink you can possibly construct from the menu options, then berate whoever serves it to him for not being more respectful of him. Do you KNOW who he IS? Oh, we all know who you are, Judas Pope. Everyone stifles a groan when you walk in the door. Ugh... that guy.</p>
<p> </p>
</li>
<li>
<p>SIR SYRAH: The guy who thinks we have a “secret menu” and insists on trying to order off it every time he comes in. And then he throws a hissy fit when we tell him that no, we don't have one, and no, we're not just saying that to “protect the secret.” He also does not seem to understand the concept of a trash can. I heard him telling Mettatron once that he shouldn't clean up after himself, either, since “that's what <em>they're</em> paid for.”</p>
<p> </p>
</li>
<li>
<p>METTATRON: A kid who is weirdly large, but also very clearly not old enough to be drinking coffee. We'd argue that it would stunt his growth, but. Well. His growth is not stunted. He used to be a real sweetheart, and sometimes he'd ask for someone to pay for a muffin or something for him – oh yeah, he's not even old enough to have a job, we're pretty sure. But now he always tags along with Judas Pope or Sir Syrah, who don't seem to care about the adverse effects of caffeine on a growing (?) boy. Ever since they “adopted” him, the kid's started acting like a real jerk.</p>
</li>
</ul><p> </p><ul>
<li>
<p>PERRIER: A literal frog that just kind of hopped in here one day and we keep trying to chase it out but it has decided to make one of our sinks its home. We're kind of concerned it's going to lay eggs there, although none of us knows how to tell if it's of the persuasion to lay eggs in the first place. It's admittedly a very cute frog, but it has a way of staring at you menacingly if you look like you're going to try to disturb it.</p>
<p> </p>
</li>
<li>
<p>HACKSAW: A mysterious figure who never speaks.</p>
<p> </p>
</li>
<li>
<p>CRASH BEAM: An equally mysterious figure who always hangs out with Hacksaw and orders for both of them. The two of them are in here all the time, but I don't think any of the staff could pick them out from a police lineup. Hopefully we will never have to do so...</p>
<p> </p>
</li>
<li>
<p>HENRY: A cute cat who hangs out here a lot because we have food, and more specifically milk. Also, weirdly, ice cubes? He looks cute, but don't try to pet him. Many have tried. All have failed. Despite that, he is the best little kitty in the coffee shop, yes he is!</p>
</li>
</ul><p> </p><p>
  <b>OTHERS:</b>
</p><p> </p><p>GURU MASTER ZEKE: Does not drink coffee as it “pollutes the temple of his body,” but is more than happy to come in and ask if he can put some flyers up for his yoga class.</p><p> </p><p>MATT: An odd character who comes in with his laptop and “works on his screenplay.” He has done this for several years and no screenplay has yet emerged. Occasionally he will declare that it is “chug time” and toss back whatever his beverage of choice is that day. This sometimes has catastrophic results for his laptop. He watches everybody in the shop very intently and I have a feeling that if his screenplay ever does become a movie, it'll be about us.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Oh my goodness, Upchuck, it's back! Get over here!” Lady Jane's shriek pierced the aromatic air of the Good Vibes Café, a quaint little coffee shop somewhere not too far from the Atlantic Ocean.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it, Lady Jane?” Janitor Upchuck called, momentarily distracted from the vital task of mopping the already-sparkling floor.</p><p> </p><p>She poked her head out from around the corner, furtively glancing around to ensure no customers would overhear her. “The frog, Upchuck!” she hissed. “The frog has returned!”</p><p> </p><p>The janitor sighed and laid aside his mop and bucket. “Again?” he grumbled as he joined Lady Jane at the sink. Sure enough, peeping up at him with eyes that were at once adorable and faintly menacing was the frog they had dubbed Perrier.</p><p> </p><p>“We've got to get rid of it before anyone finds out!”</p><p> </p><p>The two of them stared at the frog, which stared right back. Janitor Upchuck inched forward and the frog adjusted its powerful legs ever so slightly, ready to jump. Another inch... another twitch of the frog's mighty thighs. Another...</p><p> </p><p>Janitor Upchuck froze as he felt Lady Jane's hand upon his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“No, don't! It's too dangerous. We need to find another way to defeat this amphibious aggressor!”</p><p> </p><p>Slowly, the two of them retreated, never taking their eyes off of Perrier.</p><p> </p><p>“Is there a reason you two aren't out front helping the customers?” asked a familiar voice directly behind the pair, startling them. They glanced at each other before turning around to face Slash Shipper, shift supervisor extraordinaire and scourge of the seven seas.</p><p> </p><p>“Customers?” asked Lady Jane. “Wasn't the store just empty?”</p><p> </p><p>Slash Shipper gestured to the counter, where a line of disgruntled people were tapping their feet and looking at their watches with poorly disguised frustration. “Hop to it, ye scurvy dogs, before I dock your pay!”</p><p> </p><p>At the front of the line, toes a-tapping and watch a-looking, was none other than Sir Syrah, accompanied today by the cherub-faced boy on whom he had recently begun to exert a terrible influence, Mettatron.</p><p> </p><p>“I want an espresso,” Mettatron told him.</p><p> </p><p>“It's pronounced ex-presso,” Sir Syrah corrected him, putting extra emphasis on the X. “And an ex-presso you shall have, my boy! Whereas I,” he continued, finally deigning to include Lady Jane in the exchange, “will have the Bloddy Mary Latte from the secret menu.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sir,” Lady Jane replied with the patience of a martyred saint, “we don't have a secret menu at this establishment.”</p><p> </p><p>“Right,” Sir Syrah said with a wink and a glance at the line behind him. “I'll have the Bloddy Mary Latte from no menu in particular, but which I know you know how to make, for reasons which shall not be mentioned.”</p><p> </p><p>Lady Jane glanced over at Slash Shipper, who nodded minutely, and said, “Very well, sir. One espresso – ”</p><p> </p><p>“EX-presso,” he corrected her.</p><p> </p><p>Through gritted teeth, she continued, “...and one Bloddy Mary Latte.”</p><p> </p><p>He paid and escorted Mettatron to a large table surrounded by empty chairs, bypassing several smaller tables suitable for two people, and proceeded to prop his feet up on one of the extra chairs while lecturing Mettatron on the values of persistence and not letting anybody boss you around. Meanwhile, Lady Jane surreptitiously put a few drops of red food coloring in a normal latte and returned to her post.</p><p> </p><p>The place filled up as the lunch rush began in earnest. Sir Syrah and Mettatron were joined by Mettatron's other adoptive father of sorts, Judas Pope; Molly Mantis, who as usual bought nothing and contented herself with glaring at everyone around her; and two others, also regulars, who seemed to have their own thing going on that even their tablemates weren't privy to. The other tables were occupied by that one doctor whose order was as regular and precise as the length of his lunch break; the hirsute professor of Ursine History from the nearby Alternate University; and the regular customer who always brought his laptop in and just sort of muttered at it, occasionally typing something and then repeatedly hitting the delete button. In a corner, a man dressed all in green sipped his decaf which he balanced precariously between his boxing gloves, dejectedly scowling at the poster of his own face on the wall, which was half-covered by a flyer for a yoga class run by one Guru Master Zeke.</p><p> </p><p>All in all, the mood was grim in the Good Vibes Café... that is, until two very special regulars showed up, both at the very same time.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, everybody! Look who I found!” exclaimed Blast Raygun with his customary cheer, scooping up a very handsome black-and-white cat for all to see.</p><p> </p><p>“Blast!” shouted some people. “Henry!” shouted others. “Devin!” shouted the man clad in green, who didn't quite understand why everyone was shouting, but was determined not to be left out.</p><p> </p><p>Blast gently placed Henry back down on the floor, where he promptly made a beeline for an ice cube that had escaped someone's cup of iced coffee. Blast deftly avoided the cat's pouncing and sprinting as he came around to the tables and greeted his many friends. The doctor quietly made his way to the counter and placed an order for a sandwich – which was not, strictly speaking, on the menu – and a cup of hot cocoa, which the doctor himself never drank due to the high amount of sugar. Through a happy accident, these items just happened to find their way to the table Blast happened to be sitting at, and nobody else seemed to have any memory of ordering them. These sorts of mix-ups tended to happen when Blast was in the building.</p><p> </p><p>As all this was going on up front, a red-haired man slipped in through the back door, panting and wiping the sweat from his brow. On the tiny television in the front, which no one was watching, the screen transitioned from a picture of puppies to footage of smoke billowing from a burning building, and then once again to the puppies, now safe in the arms of an unidentified superhero.</p><p> </p><p>The man removed his mask. No one needed to know. For now, he was just the proprietor of a coffee shop, and he had other things to attend to... things like the frog that was fixing him with a baleful gaze from the basin of the sink before him.</p><p> </p><p>“I'll deal with you in a moment,” he muttered, and made his way to the front to assess the situation. Nothing on fire – good start. No brawls breaking out – even better. Only one of two probable cult leaders present – not ideal, but Judas Pope seemed to be playing nice today. All in all, the frog remained the most pressing issue on Static's radar, and when he felt a warm, furry creature flop onto one of his boots, a solution to his problem occurred to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Here, kitty!” Static cooed, reaching for a nearby pitcher of milk. He poured a little into a saucer for Henry, whose triangular ears perked up with interest. Carefully, he inched backward, still holding the saucer and waiting for the cat to come to him. Henry, being a clever as well as a handsome boy, eyed Static warily before approaching with exaggerated caution.</p><p> </p><p>The frog hopped up onto the edge of the sink and Henry caught sight of it. <em>Yes,</em> thought Static. <em> Follow your hunter instincts, Henry!</em></p><p> </p><p>The cat hopped up onto the counter beside the sink. He reached out a tentative paw.</p><p> </p><p>The frog remained perfectly still.</p><p> </p><p>Henry retracted his paw and leaned forward to sniff the frog. One of his long whiskers brushed one of the frog's powerful legs, which twitched. Henry froze. The two of them seemed to have a silent conversation between predator and prey... but who was truly the predator, and who the prey?</p><p> </p><p>A tacit understanding seemed to pass between frog and cat. After a long moment, Henry turned his head to look at Static. Perrier, whose gaze had never wavered, nevertheless seemed to redirect its attention from its opponent to the human as well.</p><p> </p><p>Static felt the eyes of two predators were now upon him. The realization dawned on him that he had made a grave miscalculation...</p><p> </p><p>TO BE CONTINUED... MAYBE??</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A new business opens up nearby, and Lady Jane contemplates taking up yoga.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CHAPTER TWO</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a beautiful December morning outside the Good Vibes Caf<span>é. T</span><span>he season</span>'s first<span> snow had fallen overnight, turning the street into a scene from a holiday postcard, and at this early hour it had y</span>et to be<span> trampled into slush by the boots of the masses. The winter sun glinted off the beer bottles strewn across the sidewalk, dusted with white and frozen into place where they had fallen the night before.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span> “</span>That's new,” Janitor Upchuck mused, poking a bottle with his snow shovel. It detached from its icy prison with a crunch and rolled sluggishly across the sidewalk before colliding with one of its brethren with a brittle “tink!” He looked wistfully into the distance for a moment, remembering better times, before collecting himself and returning to pondering the mystery of where the bottles had come from.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Inside the caf<span>é, </span>Lady Jane had the sense that there was something important she had forgotten. She examined the trap she and Janitor Upchuck had laid for Perrier. After Static's crushing defeat in one-on-one combat with the eldritch creature – Henry having abandoned the fight due to the very pressing reason of feline ennui – he had summoned Jane, Upchuck, and Slash for a “team meeting” to discuss tactics. The meeting had ended in frustration when the group discovered that frogs generally eat only live insects, and thus there was no way to lay out bait for their aquatic adversary. Nonetheless, something had to be done, and so they had propped up an upside-down bucket with an empty paper cup on the counter next to the sink... just in case.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bell over the door jingled, interrupting her thoughts, and Lady Jane rushed to the counter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, good morning, Blast!” she called in greeting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good morning, Lady Jane!” Blast replied, and despite his ever-present pink mask, she could tell he was smiling. He looked a bit more disheveled than usual this morning – his shabby coat seemed to be covered in small white specks that didn't melt like the snowflakes on his head and shoulders. Upon closer inspection, they looked like bits of popcorn.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bell jingled again and a handsome, muscular man entered the caf<span>é </span>with a thermos in one hand and a stack of flyers in the other. “Good morning, my friends,” he addressed them in a calm, hypnotic voice. “How is everyone on this fine winter's morning?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Glad to finally be indoors,” Blast piped up. “I don't think we've met yet. I'm Blast Raygun! What's your name?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I am Guru Master Zeke. It is nice to meet you, Blast Raygun. You have a very strong positive energy surrounding you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I do?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You do,” Lady Jane confirmed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ah, Lady Jane! I did not know you could see auras as well. You must be very sensitive to the spiritual realm!” Guru Master Zeke exclaimed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Auras?” she inquired. “I don't see any aura around him. Blast just gives off good vibes. He's that kind of guy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Guru Master Zeke nodded sagely. “I see. So although you have not yet opened your third eye to visions of the auras and chakras of others, you can still sense them. Remarkable! Have you considered expanding your mind through meditation at all?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, I have been thinking about trying out that yoga class you keep advertising, but it is a bit expensive.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“For someone as gifted as you, I could offer a discount. It would be a shame to see such abilities go to waste.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lady Jane opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a blast of cold air and the frantic jangling of the bell as Slash Shipper burst through the door. Janitor Upchuck trailed behind, pointedly stomping the snow off his boots on the mat he had set down specifically for that purpose.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Avast, me hearties! Ye'll never believe who just set up shop in the neighborhood!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did Molly Mantis finally open up that smoothie shop?” Blast Raygun guessed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Slash Shipper shuddered. “No, thank Neptune. No, it's a nightclub, nothing to worry about. If anything, they'll come here to cure their hangovers. But that's not the important part! The important part is that The Hive is not just any nightclub. It's a <em>gay</em> nightclub!” Slash looked around, clearly expecting some kind of reaction. “Am I the only one who's excited about this? Do you know how many romances are about to unfold right before our eyes? In fact, I already witnessed one blossoming relationship at the opening last night.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh no,” Lady Jane and Janitor Upchuck groaned in unison, well aware that there was no stopping Slash Shipper when there was a love story to be told.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh yes,” Slash said, eyes gleaming with delight. “Sit ye down and let me tell ye the tale...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>- The Romance of Gritty and Bee Sting -</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hear ye the tale of Gritty and Bee Sting</p>
<p>Of orange beast and stripy yellow lad</p>
<p>Though from the rough beginning that they had</p>
<p>It might be said their love is a queer thing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bass was loud: a booming, throbbing buzz</p>
<p>When first the flaming giant did appear</p>
<p>With rolling hips and a protuberant rear</p>
<p>From top to toe covered in ginger fuzz.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With thunderous steps he pounded 'cross the floor</p>
<p>His round eyes rolling in his massive head.</p>
<p>The faces all around him filled with dread</p>
<p>And several patrons edged toward the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With countenance opaque he took his beer,</p>
<p>Tossed his head back and gulped the whole thing down</p>
<p>With fearsome speed, as if his woes to drown.</p>
<p>This done, he spoke to all those who were near.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'll take no man,” he said, “who can't take me,</p>
<p>Though he be rich, or handsome, or endowed</p>
<p>With such traits as would make a lover proud.</p>
<p>Still I'll have none of him, if weak he be.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To one man did he turn, and then the next</p>
<p>And asked them each, “Are you a man of might?</p>
<p>Will you take me to bed with you this night?”</p>
<p>But by their answers he was sorely vexed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Though he felt many eyes upon his form,</p>
<p>None dared to meet his eye when he looked back.</p>
<p>He longed for an embrace, and felt the lack</p>
<p>Of muscles strong enough to keep him warm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>From out the hubbub of the pulsing throng</p>
<p>Emerged a hearty and voluptuous fellow</p>
<p>Clad head to foot in stripes of black and yellow,</p>
<p>His ass as vast as summer's days are long.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Quoth he: “Who talketh shit within the Hive?”</p>
<p>Come, step ye forth and speak it to my face!</p>
<p>Who chose to enter and insult this place</p>
<p>Shall answer for it, or not leave alive!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gritty protested, “You misunderstand –</p>
<p>My wish was never to malign this bar.</p>
<p>Rather I curse the cold, unfeeling star</p>
<p>On which I wished a wish which was too grand.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What wish is this?” the handsome man inquired.</p>
<p>“For my lover's strength to surpass my own.</p>
<p>Long have I searched, yet here I stand alone,</p>
<p>Untouched, unknown, unbeaten, undesired.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The man in yellow roared and beat his chest,</p>
<p>His noble brow furrowed, his eyes aflame,</p>
<p>And cried out in his fury, “What's thy name,</p>
<p>Thou knave whose boasts must surely be in jest?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm Gritty,” said he. “Bee Sting,” said his foe,</p>
<p>And tackled th' orange giant to the floor.</p>
<p>“Cry uncle!” said he, but Gritty cried, “More!”</p>
<p>And rose he up to meet him blow for blow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They grappled as the crowd looked on, amazed.</p>
<p>Fur flew, and punches, and foul curses too.</p>
<p>Who would end up the victor, no one knew:</p>
<p>The slobberknocker left both parties dazed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I'm vanquished!” said they both, their voices one,</p>
<p>Though neither dropped their arms to end the fight.</p>
<p>Instead, the wrestlers held each other tight</p>
<p>And Bee Sting murmured low, “Thy search is done.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Slash Shipper finally took a breath and looked around to gauge the reaction to this rugged tale of manly love. At his table, Blast Raygun appeared to have fallen asleep, his head pillowed on someone's folded-up coat. Guru Master Zeke was long gone, and Lady Jane and Janitor Upchuck were both behind the counter. Static had appeared at some point and was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I take it this is why you were late to work today,” he said.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This... kind of got away from me. I couldn't NOT include WAT League's very first canon slash ship, though!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. #DevinmadeMollytapout</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>#DevinmadeMollytapout but it's a Coffee Shop AU</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to Doctor Scrubs for his invaluable assistance with this chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hello again, mateys! Sorry for the long delay, but there has been a bit of a kerfuffle at the Good Vibes Coffee Shop that has taken some time to resolve itself.</p>
<p>It all started when Molly Mantis was making fun of the Devster in front of her cool Prophecy friends. This was nothing unusual in itself, but on this particular occasion, The Devster himself had come into the shop at just the wrong moment, in just the wrong mood, and bopped her right on the head with one of his big red boxing gloves! Despite being pound-for-pound the strongest competitor in the WAT League, Molly was so startled she dropped her homemade kale smoothie. (Upchuck heaved a put-upon sigh and went to clean it up.)</p>
<p>This was The Beginning. The Devster was not used to making someone else look silly. Usually he was the one who ended up as the butt of every joke! Which was fine, he liked jokes, but wow! For just one brief moment, he felt a rush of... power.</p>
<p>He looked in awe at his boxing gloves. Then Hacksaw mowed him down and forcibly removed him from the shop.</p>
<p>For a while, he lorded it over Molly. He would shout “Boo!” and wave his arms to startle her (which she inevitably met with a glare and a rude gesture), pretend to box against an imaginary opponent, do end-zone dances despite nobody in this AU being a football player, and other such nonsense. But that got boring, because as much as he would taunt her, the second anyone took any notice of the Devster, they closed their ranks. Crash Beam and Hacksaw would form a human (?) wall between him and Molly, Mettatron and Sir Syrah would call him names, and Judas Pope would just mutter something about the Devster being the first to suffer the consequences when the Prophecy was finally fulfilled. Not only were the coffee shop's resident meanies being, well, mean, but even the staff were starting to eye the Devster with suspicion! The poster of his face was mysteriously replaced with a larger, laminated version, and Lady Jane's smile was beginning to get a little bit strained when she handed him his super double extra-whipped-cream hot chocolate.</p>
<p>So the Devster hatched a cunning plan. He walked in the door... and straight past Molly, not even looking at her. He got his drink and headed for a seat nowhere near her table. And he did this for three whole days, which was the longest he ever committed to anything. But on the fourth day, when he was walking back from the counter, he noticed that his efforts had paid off. Crash Beam and Hacksaw, though still radiating quiet menace as they were wont to do, didn't tense up or seem to follow his movements. Mettatron was arm-wrestling with Judas Pope (it looked like if anyone was going to lose, it would be the table). Molly herself was engrossed in a heated debate with Sir Syrah about the merits of adding booze to smoothies.</p>
<p>The Devster's time had finally come. He casually veered closer to the table, whistling innocently, and just as Molly opened her mouth to speak, BOP! Down came the Devster's big red boxing glove right on her unsuspecting head! He combat-rolled away before Hacksaw could throw him out again, only to roll right into a pair of blue and yellow boots.</p>
<p>“Devster,” said Static in a tone of profound disappointment, “I'm sorry to have to do this, but you've given me no choice. I'm confiscating your boxing gloves.”</p>
<p>The Devster clutched his gloves protectively to his chest so vigorously that he ended up punching himself and doubling over in pain. Static took advantage of his distraction to yank the gloves off his hands and toss them behind the counter to Lady Jane, who hung them up on the back wall. The Devster tried to leap over the counter, but was stopped by Janitor Upchuck. He pretended to walk away before reversing direction and barreling into Static in the hopes of performing another combat roll through the employee entrance, but found Slash Shipper blocking his path when he attempted it.</p>
<p>The Prophecy, meanwhile, were laughing uproariously at the spectacle. The Devster, furious at this development, stormed out of the establishment, hiding his bare hands in shame.</p>
<p>He was back the next day wearing a pair of red mittens and an exaggerated frown on his face. This could not stand! The Devster was nothing without his trademark boxing gloves! But how to retrieve them? This was a problem that would require all of his mental resources, such as they were. So he pondered and pondered in his corner, ignoring the mocking taunts of the Prophecy, the hum of the machines, the slosh of Janitor Upchuck's mop on the floor, the faint ribbiting from somewhere out of sight...</p>
<p>Finally, the Devster hatched another cunning plan. He waited until a few more customers had entered the shop. When Lady Jane and Slash Shipper were busy with the line, he surreptitiously sabotaged the chair he knew Professor Barry Brown preferred. When the distinguished professor sat down, the chair gave out beneath him and he roared in shock and indignation. The doctor, who was nearby, rushed over to check him for injuries. In all the commotion, the Devster crawled through the door and hid himself in an out-of-the-way corner of the back area. Only once he was situated did he realize his mistake. Although he was on the right side of the counter, the gloves were directly behind Jane and Slash! He would have to make one more mad dash to retrieve them, but he had to time it just right.</p>
<p>“Ribbit.”</p>
<p>The Devster jumped in surprise. “Who said that?” he whisper-shouted.</p>
<p>“Ribbit,” the mysterious voice repeated. The Devster slowly turned around...</p>
<p>...and came face-to-face with the most intimidating, the most powerful, the most <em>beautiful</em> creature he had ever seen. Its eyes were wide and mesmerizing. Its legs were long, muscular, and poised to propel the creature forward in the blink of an eye. And it was so... <em>green</em>.</p>
<p>“I think I'm in love,” the Devster murmured, miraculously still using his indoor voice. The frog blinked once, then twice. Its tongue darted out to wet one of its eyes. Its legs twitched. The Devster held out his be-mittened hands, which trembled at the sight of such a majestic amphibian, and Perrier leapt straight into them.</p>
<p>The Devster clutched the frog gently to his chest. “Forget my boxing gloves,” he said. “This just became a frog heist!”</p>
<p>He peered around the corner. Upchuck and Doctor Scrubs appeared to still be tending to Professor Brown, Lady Jane was intensely focused on a particularly detailed bit of latte art, and Slash Shipper appeared to be furtively writing something on a napkin while sneaking glances at Sir Syrah and Judas Pope, who were deep in conversation. The Devster thought he could read the word “Daddy” on it, but now was not the time to question such things. Now was the time for action!</p>
<p>Unfortunately, Perrier took action before he did. The frog leapt from the Devster's hands onto the counter, then onto the head of a very confused Slash Shipper, and from there onto the Devster's boxing gloves. Slash turned around to shoo the frog, but ended up sending both the frog and the gloves flying</p>
<p> </p>
<p>right</p>
<p> </p>
<p>         into</p>
<p> </p>
<p>                the Devster's</p>
<p> </p>
<p>                                 outstretched</p>
<p> </p>
<p>                                                      hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cackling madly, the Devster raced out of the coffee shop, careful to barrel through the door backwards so as to avoid injuring his precious green companion.</p>
<p>Back at the Prophecy's table, Molly Mantis felt that she had missed something crucial...</p>
<p>END OF CHAPTER 3</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Bonus Valentine's Day Chapter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>My ships: let me show you them.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>These are the notes the Devster saw Slash Shipper writing down during the Frog Heist.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“14 times love triumphed in WAT League, and 1 time it didn't” – ideas???</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>1. Mean Mike/Guru Master Zeke</b>
</p>
<p>How DID Zeke end up tied up in an alleyway? Include: something about how Mike just likes to be mean and Zeke just wants to send love and peace and good vibes into the universe, &amp; when Mean Mike makes good on a threat Zeke pisses him off by enjoying it instead of being upset. (probably M-rated... I mean, there's ropes involved???)</p>
<p>
  <b>2. Perrier/Molly Mantis</b>
</p>
<p>Stereotypical girly sleepover (pillow fighting, nail painting, etc) except one of them is a frog in a hoodie. That's it, that's the fic.</p>
<p>
  <b>3. Devster/Perrier</b>
</p>
<p>Perrier is the Hypnotoad and the Devster is the only one without enough sense to cover his eyes. He falls in love with the human-sized frog &amp; willingly does its bidding in hopes of being able to pet it.</p>
<p>
  <b>4. Molly Mantis/Mean Mike</b>
</p>
<p>Molly tries unsuccessfully to get senpai to notice her by acting like the main girl in a romcom. Mean Mike shuts her down until she gets frustrated, throws a fit, &amp; punches him with all her considerable strength. Senpai finally notices her! (problematic????? but then again if no one had a problem with the Gritty/Bee Sting origin story...)</p>
<p>
  <b>5. Sir Syrah/Judas Pope</b>
</p>
<p>Judas Pope is Sir Syrah's sugar daddy. Basically a 50 Shades AU, but JP keeps telling SS to call him Father instead of Daddy, &amp; he keeps talking about a “higher purpose”...</p>
<p>
  <b>6. Sir Syrah/Static</b>
</p>
<p>Static visits Sir Syrah's bar to give him a stern talking-to about, idk, being a jerk (ugh, that guy...) &amp; is distracted from his purpose when SS shows him his super-cool underground base. Superhero AU! (why is it so easy for me to imagine Static as a superhero?? weird)</p>
<p>
  <b>7. Bee Sting/Gritty/Love Bug</b>
</p>
<p>Based on the DRAMA that unfolded at the Hive the other night. Apparently Gritty has a girlfriend now??? who is STRONGER than BEE STING??? I'm thinking a songfic set to “Genghis Khan” because DUH.</p>
<p>
  <b>8. Judas Pope/Guru Master Zeke</b>
</p>
<p>Both are trying to convince each other of the merits of their respective spiritual traditions. Master Zeke offers to teach Judas Pope to unleash his true power using yoga. (M-rated fic???) JP enjoys this and invites Zeke to join the Prophecy, which he politely declines.</p>
<p>
  <b>9. Lady Jane/Jack Axe/weapons</b>
</p>
<p>(based on that one guy who comes in here sometimes who looks like a Very Scary Lumberjack and I'm certain that he owns at least five axes...) (also based on Lady Jane being very weapon-happy when she's annoyed) Jack Axe notices Lady Jane lovingly caring for her scythe and various other weapons, and tells her about his own axe care routine. The two of them discuss the attributes of a potential Ultimate Weapon in... unusual terms that make her British Butler Bartholomew and Janitor Upchuck very uncomfortable.</p>
<p>
  <b>10. Doctor Scrubs/Godzilla</b>
</p>
<p>A scientific report written by Doctor Scrubs which ends up getting weirdly... intimate.</p>
<p>
  <b>11. Hacksaw/Crash Beam</b>
</p>
<p>Just a sweet fluffy fic of Crash Beam getting various pastries and whatnot for Hacksaw, one of them “accidentally” injuring someone who talked shit about the other half of the couple, tenderly retying/adjusting each other's masks... &lt;3 these twooooooooooooo</p>
<p>
  <b>12. Jacked Swellington/Vice Principal Lamar Bones</b>
</p>
<p>Boner jokes all the way down.</p>
<p>
  <b>13. Matt/Lonky Schlong</b>
</p>
<p>Matt goes on onlykongs.com &amp; gets a message from a hot single kong in his area. They cyber. (rating: “Attractive”)</p>
<p>
  <b>14. Blast Raygun/Bearst Raybear/Baja Blast/Avast Raygun/Past Raygun/Ghast Raygun/Blast Refgun/etc.</b>
</p>
<p>An AU in which Blast Raygun really is from the future, meets various alternate versions of himself from different timelines, and they collectively decide to get it on.</p>
<p>
  <b>+1 Hex Pectations &amp; Mettatron</b>
</p>
<p>Hex Pectations, embittered from being abandoned at the altar, decides to turn Mettatron away from love and encourage him to be the Strongest Star Nips Boy Ever to prove that love is fake and only power is real.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The characters in this story are not originally from Fire Pro Wrestling, but were created in the game's edit mode by WAT League. What is WAT League? I'm glad you asked! It is a wrestling league in Fire Pro Wrestling which streams on Twitch every Thursday and some Mondays, with a "free-per-view" event one Sunday per month. Chat participants create and role play as characters in the league. Check out WATLeague on Twitch and join the fun!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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